[Mary] The Take Over

[JOHN MURPHY]

John sat in Professor Dunbar's office, his ankle draped across his other knee, arms crossed and laughed when the professor made a comment about some of the physicists at U of C, "Yeah, if I had a dollar every time I heard Swanson tell the classic spaceship headlights joke, I would be a very rich man at this point."  "Hey, no picking on our jokes, you might find yourself with a particularly daft set of young people and be desperate for any other noise than the sound of yourself."  John nodded reluctantly, he was right.  It was his first day he was supposed to be teaching a couple of Dunbar's physics labs.  Speaking of which, John thought as he tipped his wrist back to look at his watch, "Shit, I'm late for my first class."  he stood up and gathered his bag, stuffing a few journals they had been looking over back inside and Dunbar laughed freely, "Don't be in such a hurry, I can promise you they aren't."  John headed down the hall, anxious about getting this first class over with.  These students had already had a different TA the first couple of weeks, but when she ended up being unable to continue, John was asked to step in.  He entered the classroom, seeing students unpacking their things around lab stations, and set his things down.  "Alright if you could all take your seats, so we can get started..." he said lazily as he pulled out a stack of graded homework assignments, "Last weeks homework is up here on the counter," he added, "At some point before you leave today please come up and get yours, try not to be that asshole that looks at everyone else's grades.  Your homework that's due today can be turned in by the end of class; if you have questions we can go over it.  I'd rather you ask than turn in homework that is wrong."  He finally turned to face them, looking over their faces, "Obviously I'm not that small red haired girl you had last week.  I'm John, I'll be your TA for the remainder of the semester.  I'm completing a residency here for the next couple of semesters doing research with Dr. Dunbar.  I received my undergraduate in physics at U of C - Berkeley and am now pursuing my masters, for those of you wondering if I am qualified to be of any help to you at all."  As he looked around the room, assessing which kids he thought were being attentive and which looked like assholes, he stopped on a familiar face, someone he was not expecting to see.  Mary.  he hadn't seen her since that night be had Mexican for dinner.  And not because he didn't want to, he'd been thinking about returning for some of those margaritas.  Obviously he wanted to talk to her, maybe after class.  "Alright," he said, after he meeting her eyes for a moment and then pulling them away, saving it for later when they could actually have a conversation, "Does any one have an questions about the homework?  Is everyone okay with the equations using the planck units?"  Silence, which he dreaded, and them someone spoke up.  Some younger guy who raised his hand casually and then spoke up, "Yeah, why are we working with planck units, you can't further divide them in foundational units.  Isn't it more accurate to work with what we do know?  At least with the basic units like the speed of light, or gravitational constant?"  He looked a little pleased with himself, his friend beside him agreeing with a laugh.  "Okay," John said nodding, "That's a great question.  Let's talk about what..." he gestured the guy, who offered his name, "Shane..."  and John nodded once more, "Okay, let's talk about what Shane just brought up.  Why do we have planck units, in which we can't break down to a foundational level, such as an electron, or a quark, or a gluons?  They're difficult to work with mathematically, they're difficult to put in perspective when the size of them is difficult to pin down."

"Alright so we have two laws that govern reality as we know it; General Relativity and Quantum Physics.  You know this; if you don't I would seriously consider re-evaluating your career."  He walked up to the board and picked up some chalk, "General Realitivity, Shane, what are my constants?"  "Speed of light, and gravitational constant," he answered as if he were annoyed at having to repeat himself.  John wrote a G and a c on the board, "What are our constants in quantum mechanics?"  he looked around, "Come on guys.  speed of light and...?"  A girl in the back responded quietly, "planck's contant, h."  "Thank you," John added, and then wrote an h on the board.  He circled all three and continued, "By using these in multiple combinations, we can calculate a lot of different things that wouldn't be able to without planck's constant.  It allows us to describe quantum energy levels in quantitative terms, we can even calculate the number of possible outcomes.  We can construct a length scale, a mass, all relative to planck's constant.  So i'm guessing you want to know Shane, why we can't use our basic constants to do the same thing?  I mean, planck mass is huge right, and similarly, planck time is an incredibly small unit.  At this point, with energy levels that high, our current laws of physics should break down.  Quantum gravitational effects become super important, so then predictions of General Relativity become unreliable.  On the flip side of that, when the curvature of space becomes too large, now quantum physics becomes unreliable."  He paused, "so that means...?"  He glanced around at the blank faces and answered for them, "Physics as we know it, doesn't really work anymore, does it?  Our questions are too big for our existing theories, the uncertainties are bigger than what we can calculate."  He set the chalk down and moved to the desk, sitting on it and crossed his arms.  

"So in the universe this isn't a problem right?  Energy levels out there are insanely bigger than anything ever replicated.  We can't just go out there and study the limits, but if we did, where would we do that?  What's one place where this would become incredibly important to know these limits?  Next person to speak gets extra credit if you can answer correctly."

[MARGARITA JOSEPHINE RIVERA]

MJ had been walking to class with Shane, going over some of the homework that they had been given prior. He was so pretty, but so dumb. Honestly he wouldn't be in this program at all if his father hadn't written a big donation check to the college. She was trying to explain something to him, but sensing that he had already lost interest she took in a deep breath, smiled at him and shook her head. At least he was smart enough to know not to sit next to her in class. MJ had a habit of spreading things out more than necessary. One, it helped so that people wouldn't sit too close to her, and also she wanted to be able to have a good look at her notes. Studying was something that she had to do. She was a smart kid, but it didn't click as easily. She had to put effort in. Sometimes the professor would say something that she could attach to a note from a few days before. "Thanks," she said to Shane as he set a coffee down on the desk next to her before taking a few steps down to go sit a few rows in front of her. MJ bit the edge of her lip, going through some of her notes and organizing her highlighters, taking out her favorite pens, making sure everything was organized. "Holy.... shit, he is hot" she heard a girl say to a friend of hers before they started giggling to one another. MJ didn't pay much attention. Some girls were in school for the MRS degree instead of the PhD one. Idiots. "Alright if you could all take your seats," he started, causing her to quit writing instantaneously. MJ looked up, frozen in her seat as she recognized the lethargic tone of voice. Oh my god. MJ looked around slightly at every one before looking up at John. He was explaining his qualifications and what he was doing here. Wait, so he was here for two semesters? That explained why he hadn't called her. When he finally noticed her, she was sure her expression was anything but welcoming. Her eyebrow had locked in an angle that was mainly reserved for her pissed off grandma. She'd begun tapping her pen against her paper and everything about her appearance suggested that she was ready to snap his neck.

MJ took in a deep breath as he struggled to get the idiots in this class to contribute. Most of the kids in this program didn't really need a degree, it would just become a little title for when they took over their parents companies. Some of them had personal reasons for taking this program, like MJ. When he turned his back to write on the board she started packing up some of her things. She listened as he questioned some of the students, separating her homework and her coffee from the pile. After shouldering her backpack she made her way down the steps, "It's a black hole." she said, placing her homework on the table before giving him a 'fuck you' expression. "Where some people's respect goes, apparently." she said, turning on her heel to head back up the steps so she could leave the lecture hall. "Yo, MJ... I'll call you later," Shane said, before looking at John and wincing for him. "Dog, she seems real pissed." MJ let the door slam shut behind her before she made her way to the building across the quad where the coffee shop was. She still had classes later in the day, so going home entirely seemed like a bad choice.

Three lattes later she had looked down at her watch. The class should've ended about ten minutes ago. MJ stood up, throwing away the last of her latte cups before putting her backpack back on again and making her way to the Physics department offices. She held onto the rail, running up the steps and doing her past to squeeze through the crowds. At least there was a benefit to being small. She walked into the physics office with her eyes locked on the office reserved for her professor, wherever he was. "Oh, MJ, do you have an appointment?" the assistant said at the front desk. "Nope," she said as she kept walking. "You can't just go in there then," she said, looking after MJ as she was walking. MJ kept her eyes focused straight ahead. "Kendra, go blow someone," she quipped, flipping her off quickly before she pushed the handle down on the door and went in quickly. She looked at a student who was already in there, with homework question. She stood there staring at them as they looked back up at her in confusion. "Dude, get out," she said, gesturing to the door. She waited for him as he fumbled to put his things in his backpack quickly before he pushed his glasses up and ran out of the office. MJ closed the door, dropping her backpack instantly before she started pacing in front of the desk. Maybe it was anger. Maybe it was the lattes. " ¿Crees que es divertido hacer lo que hiciste? ¿Acaba de llegar al pueblo y tratar a todo el mundo así? Porque fui lo suficientemente estúpido como para pensar que tal vez teníamos algo especial. Y entonces no llamaste. Pensé que tal vez volviste a casa. No, todavía estás aquí. Era sólo yo que no era lo suficientemente bueno. ¿Por qué no soy una de tus rubias chicas californianas? No llamaste. ¿Y ahora vas a volver a California? ¿Qué mierda, amigo? ¿Qué era yo? ¿Una diversión para ti? Pensé que teníamos algo y no lo trato a la ligera. Y me despreciaste."

[JOHN MURPHY]

Finally, John was able to let out a breath as someone finally spoke up and threw him a bone.  Students were the effing worst, honestly.  But much more to his surprise, it was Mary who answered, on her way out in a spell of anger.  She was NOT happy.  For a moment he was confused, but as she mentioned being disrespectful, he furrowed his brows.  Okay she was mad at him.  Probably not for anything he did, but for what he hadn't done.  He hadn't called her after getting her number.  He'd wanted to go back into the restaurant to see her, which he also hadn't done yet.  It was just that in either situation, he knew he had to do that one thing he didn't want to do, which was stop things before they even started.  She left class promptly following her statement, leaving John to explain to this doofus Shane why black holes were in fact cool, but no you could not just jump into one.  After class as the rest of the students filed out, John packed up his things and gathered the homework assignments they'd turned in, seeing Mary's graded work still unclaimed.  he picked it up too; she'd have to get it another time.  The MJ written at the top made sense now that he knew who to  connect it with.  He headed back to his office where a student was already waiting outside, "Oh hey," John said as he stood up, "Sorry I was wondering if you could walk me through a couple of these one more time..."  John motioned him inside and told him to have a seat, "Yeah, that's not a problem.  I think you'll do a few and it will start to click more."   And they did, go over an equation or two before they were interrupted by Mary storming in and telling the other student to get lost.  Well better now than later if they were gonna see each other  on a regular basis; just because she was mad didn't mean she was going to stop coming to class, she didn't seem the type.  It was the other conversation he didn't want to have.  He didn't want to tell her they couldn't continue on how  they were, because actually he really liked her.  It just wasn't fair to lead her on when he just didn't have the stability to carry on a real relationship right now.  He just hadn't quite figured out how to tell her yet,  or mustered up the courage to do so.  The thought of it had made him anxious, having to turn away something that had been good for a change.   She just seemed really awesome, and she deserved him at his best, not how he was lately.  She was yelling at him in Spanish which he knew was not a good sign; he'd seen a good margarita go to waste at the expense of a hearty Spanish fuck you.  This could go in a totally different direction; he could tell her to have a seat, that she shouldn't have stormed out of class, that it was inappropriate.  But  fuck, they'd done shots together, he wasn't her authority figure.  he was here to do research and teaching a lab or two was a favor to Dr. Dunbar.  When she seemed to have finished he took in a deep breath, trying to find the write words to begin.  it was so much easier to sing difficult things.  He had gathered enough key terms to understand the gist of it; stupid, blonde Cali girl's, despise you.  Well then.  "I do not think you are stupid at all.  I um... should have called.  I'm extremely sorry that I didn't, I see that now."  he paused, running his hand over his hair out of habit, "Truthfully I just... I'm not coming from a great place to be dating anyone.  And I felt like we hit it off and I just... didn't want to end something good before it started.  Which was unfair, to leave you hanging. obviously.  But I...am not in a position to be in a relationship right now.  It's not you- you're... I really like you.  That's not- you're not the issue.  I'm just... working through some things."  He felt like he could be honest with her, and he wanted to be, but where to even start?

[MARGARITA JOSEPHINE RIVERA]

MJ had finished ranting, stopping to stand in front of his desk and she herself didn't realize how her arms were crossed over one another. Even tiny women could be pissed off. She could feel actual heat coming off of her. When he started talking, she just looked at him, lifting her eyebrow back into its dutiful place. Blah blah blah. Every excuse from every guy ever. "Why do you assume I wanted a relationship?" she said, rolling her eyes slightly at herself cause here she was in his office yelling cause he hadn't called her. " I mean. Obviously I wanted something. I'm yelling at you. But are you so high on your fucking pedestal that you thought we couldn't even be friends because YOU aren't ready for a relationship, and God.. me as a woman, I just must not be able to control myself," she said, beginning to pace again. "Coming from a great place.." she muttered to herself, pacing back and forth. Everyone had a past and had a history. She walked over, putting both of her hands on his desk as she glared at him. "You are so full of shit. We shared something that night. You know it. I know it. I opened myself up to you. You let me do that. If you aren't in a good place for that now, you sure as hell knew three weeks ago. I don't talk to guys. I don't date. I don't let people in. Because people... leave. They leave. Which you know all too fucking well since that was in your plan anyway. But you didn't tell me that. No, you just let me lower my wall." she said, standing back up. " And then.. me.. the girl who has never given any guy the time of day, you made me feel like I was crazy, like it's my fault. Wondering what I did wrong because we DID share something that night and then you disappeared. And I have a real problem with people disappearing in my life. So yeah... you can spend a great two semesters here." she said, scoffing at him like she was disgusted. "I spent three weeks wondering what the hell I did wrong. You're not staying here. You're not in a good place to feel things?" she said in an annoyed tone. Mary reached up, grabbing the back of his hair roughly before she leaned down to kiss him since thankfully he was still sitting down because otherwise his height was just not a friend to her. MJ kept her grip tight , feeling how soft his hair was between her fingers, before she depend the kiss by leaning down closer to him, bringing her other hand up to the side of his jaw. But after a moment she pulled away, roughly biting at his lip in aggravation and slightly manhandling the back of his hair. She picked up her backpack, opening the door before smiling sarcastically at him. "Feel that for the next two semesters, you prick." she said, making her way out of the office.

[JOHN MURPHY]

He was expecting her at this point to pour something on him, or maybe slap him.  Or snap his pencil in half or something.  he was absolutely not expecting her to kiss him, which mad as she was, it was really hot.  He couldn't pretend like it wasn't.  But he hadn't been able to fully explain what he needed to and she wasn't giving him that opportunity to get it off his chest.  "Mary," he called after her, standing up from his desk and followed her out through the door.  "Hold up," he told her, grabbing her arm beneath her elbow and turned to face her, but then stopped, turning to look at Kendra who was staring at them.  "Can you like... go on lunch or something?"  "I took my lunch four hours ago..."  He huffed, "Kendra, just- can you please go, anywhere else," he gave her an exasperated sigh.  Kendra, it just ain't your day.  Kendra turned and left them alone in the office and John looked back down at Mary, "I'm not going to just let you walk out, it sucked," he added.  "Look I'm not gonna make decisions for you, I'm just trying to be honest with you about where I'm at.  I'm sure you have your own struggles.  But I need to be honest about mine so you understand, and then you can decide for yourself.  You're not the only one who worries about people not sticking around.  You think that didn't cross my mind?  Maybe you see the ugly on the inside and change your mind.  I opened up to you too, it's a two way street Mary."

[MARGARITA JOSEPHINE RIVERA]

"It is NOT a two way fucking street, John!" she yelled at him in anger. "You made the choice already. You are the one that made a choice. Three weeks. Three weeks of hoping that every time the fucking door opened that it was you. Or listening to that stupid song. You made a choice. It is not a two way street. Being honest with me about your struggles would have been a good idea three weeks ago. Not when you're being forced to do it because , 'oh shit she's in my class'. It is anything but a two way street. What a jackass thing to say," she said, bringing her hand up to the side of her hair as she tried to focus on what she wanted to say. "I was real. You weren't. You know the most asshole thing you could have possibly done is take away my choice. You don't think you did that, but you did." she scoffed, looking around the office. "John.. the point of being afraid that someone is leaving, is that you understand it. And you don't do it." she said, biting the edge of her lip. "I don't know what the fuck you have in your baggage.. but seriously dude, at some point.. someone cares enough about you to help you carry it. They don't expect you to do that on your own, but you have to fucking show up for that to happen. So you can wallow and be miserable. That's another choice you already made," she brought her hand up to her bare shoulder, holding onto it for a moment. "Well, you can beat yourself up later. Because I'm probably the best thing that's never going to happen to you now."